WP Drag Races
Put up to five websites on the strip. Google times them. Someone loses. It might be you.
How the winner is picked (no secret sauce)
Highest Lighthouse performance score wins. Ties go to the lower lab LCP, then the lower Total Blocking Time. The AI writes jokes. It does not pick the winner.
Lab scores bounce around by several points between runs. A 3 point win is a coin toss with extra steps. Real-user field data from Chrome is the one Google uses for rankings.
The URLs you enter are sent to Google PageSpeed Insights. If AI commentary is on, only the numbers go to Google Gemini, never the URLs. Results are cached for a few hours.
The commentary is machine-written satire about lab numbers. It is not a statement of fact about any business, host or person. If it insults your site, the fix list is right there.